


Wishing Only Wounds the Heart

by kaleidoscope_eyes (TheGirlInYourMirror)



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell, Fangirl - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Baz Needs A Hug, Baz cant feelings, Baz is a pile of angst and good hair, Emotional Constipation, Emotions, How Do I Tag, M/M, Pining, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, and to get his shit together, as does simon tbh, much like me, ok these tags are useless, seriously this is v emo, those boys are so dysfunctional i stg how do they have such a healthy relationship, try new improved snowbaz with extra pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-05
Updated: 2017-03-05
Packaged: 2018-09-28 11:53:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10099448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGirlInYourMirror/pseuds/kaleidoscope_eyes
Summary: -Every so often we long to stealTo the land of what-might-have-been----At night it all seems so plausible.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Just Baz being a mess really
> 
> Idk I can't write I just love musicals and snowbaz.
> 
> Title and Description: "I'm Not That Girl" from Wicked (the Musical).

All he did was look at me. I want to kiss him breathless.

It's so unfair, living with him. Having him so close, but so unattainable. Almost, but not quite. It kills.

I only let myself dream at night. Only then. I let myself give into all the what-if's. What if I just kissed him. What if he just kissed me. What if he felt even a fraction of the way I do. What if I could hold him, and it would be so good and the rest of the world could fuck off for a while. He wouldn't have to be the hero, he could have an escape from all the expectation and the weight of the entire World of Mages on his shoulders. 

What if I could be what he needs.

At night it all seems so plausible. I dream, and I smile to myself, and I think;

maybe we could.

But then morning will come, and I'll tear my eyes away from his sleeping form, and I resume my part as his nemesis, or whatever it is he considers me to be.

Morning will come, and I'll tell myself no. Because he's straight, he only has eyes for Wellbelove, and he hates my guts. Because he's loyal to a system that contradicts everything my mother worked for, everything my family holds valuable. Because he's the perfect boy, the Mage's heir, and I'm the brooding antagonist of the story that'll go down in the history books.

Because he's Simon Snow, and I'm Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch III, and in the cold light of day I know it can never be.

The nights, though.

The nights are mine.

**Author's Note:**

> Title and Description: "I'm Not That Girl" from Wicked (the Musical).


End file.
